Just for laughs!

The market may be bad but I slept like a baby last night. I woke up every hour and cried. Here's some more to the list that I've enjoyed....

A budget is a mathematical confirmation of your suspicions.

Today, there are 3 kinds of people: the haves, the have-nots, the have-not-paid for-what-they-have.

What is a banker's favourite chocolate bar? A credit crunchie.

When I got home last night, I found that my bank had installed a drive up ATM in front of my house.

I had a cheque returned by my bank earlier. "Insufficient funds," it said. My funds or the bank?

This market stinks so bad that I can finally afford that divorce. She will get what I always wanted her to get - half of nothing.

In Soviet America, banks rob people because that is where the money is!

I went to buy a toaster and it came with a bank.

Cash flow : The movement your money makes as it disappears down the toilet.

A stock analyst : Idiot who just downgraded your stocks.

'Broker' : What my broker has made me.

I'm saddened to hear about the demise of Lehman Brothers. My thoughts go out to their mother - losing one son is hard but losing two is a tragedy.

Bull market: Random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius

The problem with investment - bank balance sheet is that on the left side, nothing is right; and on the right side, nothing is left.